Hello everyone, I understand that you might be thinking that I’ve gone a bit mad with this article title. How could buildknuckle be talking about smashing or passing anime characters? Has he had one too many cans of cream soda to take him over the edge?
I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately I haven’t had a can of Barr’s Cream Soda in several months. I’ve had to make do with the not quite as good Tesco own brand which just doesn’t quite have that same vanilla-y taste.
So let me explain. This article, while on the surface seems like it means what you think it is, is actually not about that at all. I asked my BlueSky followers for a bunch of characters that I should smash or pass but in a slightly different way.
Super Smash Bros., the fighting video game series directed by PowerPoint specialist Masahiro Sakurai features many of the legends of video games including Mario, Link, Sonic the Hedgehog, Solid Snake and that bloke from Minecraft. The thing is, I know fully well that anime characters could very much be able to go toe to toe with the greats of Smash so that’s why I thought “what if this was about Smash Bros. instead?”
But build! I hear you ask. What about Passing? Well there’s no better game out there with passing than the beautiful game, football. I’m sure there are anime characters that could absolutely be playing alongside Lionel Messi, Pelé, Ian Wright, Generallissimo Mbappé and of course that Portuguese bloke who really, really likes Saudi Arabia now.
To Smash (Bros.) or to Pass (the football)? That is the question. Let’s take a look at some of your suggestions and see whether I think they should Smash or Pass!
Mayoi Hachikuji – Pass
Described as a “diabolical” choice, Mayoi Hachikuji I think might actually be pretty good at football. Now I’ve never watched the Monogatari series but she apparently possesses a good set of skills that would put her in a starting eleven.
First of all, Mayoi is a ghost. While that’s usually associated with the fact that she should be able to pass through things, she actually can’t, which of course would be incredibly important considering that she would need to actually need to come into contact with the ball pretty often. It would be a bit awkward if she physically couldn’t touch the ball. It’d mean that she’d be pretty bad at football.
Mayoi is known as The Snail, which most of you may think would be absolutely hopeless at playing games of football but she’s only called “snail” because of that massive backpack of stuff that she carries around everywhere. After doing a bit of digging, I was actually able to find that there is actually a football team with the word “snail” in its name.
Snailbeach White Stars, is a football team near Shrewsbury who according to my research currently play in the Shrewsbury & District Sunday League Premier Division which I don’t even think is even in the English Football pyramid. At one point however, Snailbeach White Stars were six time champions of the Shropshire County Premier Football League between the 1966-67 season and the 1981-82 season. Pretty good going eh!
I’m sure we’re all going to be big fans of Snailbeach because Mayoi would totally play for them, I’m sure she’d love to live in picturesque Snailbeach!
Anne Shirley – Smash
This one came courtesy of my good friend nea, who in her infinite wisdom suggested the ultimate Smash Bros. character. Anne Shirley is quite possibly the most powerful character that could be in the games. Her infinite scope for imagination and her incredible force that she smashes the chalkboard over Gilbert Blythe’s noggin makes her absolutely perfect for the games.
Of course her smash attacks would be her most iconic moves from the anime, such as the chalkboard smash and the “raspberry cordial” that would intoxicate her opponents to name a few. Though I think her Final Smash would totally be sending her foes to one of her many imaginations. Imagine getting run over by that flying horse-drawn carriage from the opening while gazing at the White Way of Delight or the Lake of Shining Waters. It would certainly look beautiful, albeit a bit painful from the running over part.
Wako Izumi – Smash
One of the easiest inclusions on this list. Wako Izumi is a very obvious inclusion for Smash Bros. because of just how zany she is, she would fit it in incredibly well with all her new friends that she would frustrate easily with her boundless joy and inopportune candid camera shots.
Wako has a “powered up” form in the way of her Penguin Suit that she shows off in the fourth episode. That sword on her back isn’t just for show you know and we also know how much Sakurai loves including sword wielders in the games so Wako that’s more points for her right there.
The golden towers in Ep.5 would be absolutely brilliant as a stage with all the different environments it has. Though I’m not sure the Switch 2 has the processing power to be able to keep up with the insanity of the world of CITY but I’m sure Sakurai would work something out.
Yutaka Nakamura – Pass
Ruga suggested a lot of characters for this article so it was very difficult to narrow down, but this suggestion of Yutaka Nakamura was too good to pass up, because I’d actually think he’s probably pretty decent at football. But build, yutapon is not an anime character. You’re right, but he is a big source of character in anime so he absolutely counts for this list.
Yutaka Nakamura is without a doubt, one of the most influential animators of all time. The Lionel Messi of anime if you will. Countless young animators from around the world have taken inspiration from him and even now in 2026, at the ripe old age of 58, yutapon is still dispensing the cubes. Though Ruga is talking about yutapon at the peak of his powers, in the 2000s, when he was working on Full Metal Alchemist, Eureka Seven, Sword of the Stranger and Soul Eater. Where he was putting some of his most iconic works before he turned into SOME ONE in the 2010s.
Now I don’t know if yutapon is an avid football player or even a football fan but despite being able to summon cubes out of nowhere, I think he’d probably be better at football considering how old he was back then. While many footballers retire in their 30s and 40s, yutapon was just getting started in becoming the animator mega star that he is today, adapting the changes in the medium going from analogue cel animation and the transition of the early digital era of the late 90s/early 00s. The mark of a good football player is that you’re able to adapt to new environments and be able to thrive in them.
Let’s take Harry Kane for instance, who was the all time leading goalscorer for Spurs. He moved to Bayern Munich in the Bundesliga and has only improved with his new surroundings, scoring 58 goals in 55 matches in all competitions so far this season. He’s now arguably the best striker in the world at the time of writing and he’s coming on 33 years old now, which yutapon was in the year 2000 when he was on the Escaflowne movie.
If you think yutapon would be washed up as a football player now, he’s actually a few months younger than King Kazu is right now and he’s still playing professional football! So who knows, maybe we could see yutapon playing for Bones’ Sunday League team or something. I do think however he would be hopeless without his legendary towel though. Can’t take that away from him.
Yayoi Takatsuki – Pass
Yayoi Takatsuki of 765pro is, as you are all no doubt aware, already a football player. As well as an idol and big sister to four younger siblings, she already plays professionally and is pretty good at it too!
Yayoi started her career as part of the youth set up at 765pro after having been scouted by Producer-san while she was at a local playing field in Saitama near her favourite supermarket. According to local legend she was going to attend La Masia, F.C Barcalona’s youth academy, but declined when she realised that prices of beansprouts in the area were more expensive than back home.
Scouts at J League side, Kashiwa Reysol, took notice of Yayoi’s abilities and signed her up during the 2005-06 season as a defensive midfielder scoring 5 goals that season in 12 appearances for the club. Yayoi showed incredible technical ability, being able to easily pass the ball to her teammates while also being able to take on opponents who dared to go anywhere near the goal.
While she is only 4’9’’, she was still able to perform well scoring from set pieces, as she would start talking to opposing defenders about the new burgers at the local burger place and how she could get daikon for 50% off after 7pm. These distractions allowed her to somehow be able to score to the bewilderment of opposing sides.
Later spells at Albirex Niigata, the Dutch National Team (because orange is her image colour) and her current club A.S. Roma have allowed her to have a fantastic career. Somehow she’s not really aged at all since her first season, though I imagine that’s something to do with the fact that she’s an anime character and not an actual football player. As far as I know, The iDOLM@STER hasn’t had any timeskips since it started, which has definitely played to Yayoi’s success in football. Perhaps if there is a timeskip one day, maybe she’ll start a managerial career, who knows!
Noufu – Smash
He has a literal shotgun and would flat out murder most of the Smash cast without question. He’d probably be banned from tournament play most likely.
The end…for now!
That’s the end of today’s article. We now know three characters who would Smash and three characters who would Pass! If you still have more suggestions for characters, do feel free to leave them in the comments below and maybe if we have enough, we might have a sequel article to this!
There’s still plenty more suggestions but it’s always good to have more right? Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful day wherever you are!
